


My Boy Builds Coffins

by AceQueenKing



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:35:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3546239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceQueenKing/pseuds/AceQueenKing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short Stories featuring Saren and Nihlus that are too short for their own individual fics.  Mostly happy fluff, some angst.</p><p>Newest Story: Nihlus teaches Saren how to make full use of the decontamination chamber.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Assembly

**Author's Note:**

> Saren and Nihlus attempt to assemble furniture but encounter difficulties. Unfortunately, spectre authorization doesn't make space IKEA instructions any more comprehensible.

“Nihlus, this might be the stupidest idea you have ever had.”

“Saren, we’re on Invictus for six months. We can’t live on the ship.” Nihlus buried his frustration in thwacking together two pieces of plywood that would, hopefully, form the first step in a couch.

“I fail to see why we couldn’t,” Saren scoffed as he attempted to decode the instructions for a chair.

“Because it be suspicious to the port authorities when we didn’t take off?”  
  
“That would be preferable to  _this._ ” Saren’s mandibles flared. “Why don’t the instructions have words?”

“Oh come on, how hard can it be if it’s all pictures?”  
  


* * *

 

His first clue that Saren found assembling furniture more difficult than most was when the beginnings of a dinner chair – somewhere around step C, he suspected – went sailing past his head.

“What the?” He turned back to find Saren in Biotic Avenger mode, hands glowing blue with unspeakable fury. “Saren, what are you doing?”  
  
“I’m sending that chair back to hell.  _Where it belongs.”_

Nihlus glanced over his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Saren hit the offening instructions. “These instructions are completely _incomprehensible_.”

Nihlus peaked over his shoulder and his heart sunk. “Okay, I’m pretty sure you can’t tap in nails both ways at once.”

“That’s supposed to be a nail?”  
  
Nihlus squinted. “I think so.”  
  
Saren snarled and threw the instructions towards the remains of the chair. “I used screws.”  
  
Nihlus chuckled.

“Do you find this funny?”

“A little.” He stretched out, letting his hand run lightly over Saren’s cowl ridge. “It’s good to find something you’re not good at.”  
  
Saren shot him a look that was unreadable, but it wasn’t murderous and, therefore, counted for one of Saren’s better moods.

“C’mon, why don’t you help me? Between the two of us, we ought to be able to assemble a couch, right?”

* * *

 

As it turned out, between the two of them, they could  _not_  assemble a couch.

He stopped Saren from destroying it only by the virtue of spotting the familiar blue glow and hastily clamping a hand over Saren’s own. “What’s going on?”  
  
“These support  _planks_  don’t fit the fucking couch. _You’ve_ fucked up the frame.”

Nihlus grabbed one from Saren’s hand and tried to insert it in the space between the frames of the couch. Surely Saren was only putting it in the wrong way?

But…No. The gap was wide and deep no matter which way he twisted the support beam.

“ _Fuck_.” He swore.  _“_ We just lost 10 steps.”  
  
Saren’s eyes crackled blue and Nihlus leaned into his shoulder, wordlessly offering his support and subtly preventing Saren from discharging.

“The stupidest idea you have  _ever_ had.”  
  
“Oh, don’t be that way.” Nihlus smirked. “It’s not as bad as the time I pushed us into that lake to prevent those Taetrean rebels from seeing us.”  
  
“Do you really think reminding me of your other faults is going to fix this?”

“No.” He murmured as he pulled his head up to plant a kiss on Saren’s chin. “But I can think of something that might make you feel better.”  
  
“Mmm.” Saren narrowed his eyes. “And what might that be?”  
  
Nihlus said nothing, only letting his sub-vocals pulse in a lustful tone before he lunged forward and tackled Saren, his mouth-plates finding Saren’s easily.

Saren tensed – as he always did, when Nihlus got him on his back – but his hands wound around his head as he deepened the kiss.

“You sure you want to do this on the floor?” Nihlus chuckled breathlessly into Saren’s ear. “Not as young as you used to be, you know.”

Saren growled. “ _Fuck_  that couch.”

* * *

 

Aelius Varinia hated domestic calls.

He’d been called to another one: suspicious loud voices in one of the shadier apartment blocks, reported by some busybody neighbor. Probably just a couple having some lover’s spat.

Still, Aelius was a turian and he had his duty. And judging by all the loud banging noises and groaning, maybe the old biddy of a neighbor had a point.

He really hoped he wasn’t going to walk into an attempted murder. The paperwork on that would keep him occupied into the next century.

He banged on the door. There was no answer.

“Police!” He shouted and slammed his shoulder into the door. It gave easily.

Two startled, adult,  _naked_ turian males stared back at him, one half on top of the other in the shattered remains of what appeared to be a cheap couch.

The pale one grabbed for his pants and pulled out a badge. “This is Spectre business. Leave us.”  
  
“My apologies.” Aelius bowed, hastily heading for the door. Spectres? He wanted no part of that. “I’ll be going then.”

Honestly, he would have preferred the murder. At least then he wouldn’t have to try to explain  _that_  to the neighbor in 7A.

* * *

 

“Spectre business, huh?”  
  
“Shut up.”

“Mmm, you were very authoritative. Scared that guy half to death. Probably still trying to clean the crap out of his pants.”  
  
“Shut up.”

“It was  _very_ sexy.”

“Shut up!”  
  
“Hey, I’m turian. You know how I feel about authority figures. You’re so irresistable when you take charge.”

“Nihlus, this is neither the time or the place.”  
  
“Okay, okay, so assembling the furniture was a bad idea. But hey, at least we can use the break-in as an excuse to return the furniture?”

“I doubt they will take it in this…condition.”  
  
“Well, there’s always Spacelist.”


	2. Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nihlus tries to get Saren a nice anniversary present. It backfires.

Nihlus realized Saren’s moods – always mercurial – were growing substantially worse on their fourth anniversary.

Their anniversary began as most nights between them did, explorations mapped with hand and skin and tongue. In the morning, he was awoken when Saren fired six shots, one after another.

Well, at least their lives were never boring.

Nihlus stumbled, all-but-shoving his pants on and grabbing the pistol Saren always kept taped underneath their pathetically small cot.

He made no noise as he moved, waiting for Saren to give him an all-clear.

But all was silent.

“Saren?” He opened the door. Saren stood, still naked, breathing heavily. His victim was laid out before him: the remains of his breakfast, including the toaster he’d bought as a sort of anniversary present yesterday.

“Saren why did you…?”

“It…flashed, there was a noise and… _It was_   _glowing blue_.” Saren shoved him against the wall. “Why would you bring something like that here?”

“Sar-” He choked, unable to get the word out as Saren’s talon effortlessly cut off his wind-pipe.

“ _Why?!”_ Saren’s eyes were wide. “Do you think this is funny,  _Kryik_?”  
  
The talon released him, and he took a long breathe of sweet air. 

“Saren, I’m- I’m sorry. It was just…just a gift. I thought you’d…Well, you never do eat right without me.” He took a risk and pressed his forehead against Saren’s own.

Saren returned the gesture, his mandibles flickering forward in a rare sign of affection, ghosting along Nihlus’ own. “I don’t  _like_  surprises.”

“Noted.” Nihlus wrapped his arms around him and felt relieved when Saren returned the embrace. “Let’s go back to bed, yeah?”

He caressed Saren’s cheek. Saren stood stiffly for a moment, then nodded.

“Don’t bring anything like that here again.”

“Don’t worry.” Nihlus chuckled. “The fifth year’s silverware.”

Saren shot him a look.

“I look forward to seeing you shoot that.”

“Shut up, Nihlus.”

Saren sounded tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saren's aversion to bright, glowing blue things can be traced back to his last mission with his brother in _Evolution_ , when Reaper technology cost his brother his life.


	3. Bargaining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saren has only one weakness: his height. Thankfully, it’s something Nihlus can help him with.

“Aw, do you need help getting that gun mod?”

A glare that would be fatal to most men graced Saren’s face.

Happily, Nihlus was immune.

“I’ll get it for you.” Nihlus grabbed it. “A pistol silencer, hmm? Kinky.”

Saren narrowed his eyes and reached out his hand. Nihlus held it  _just_ out of his reach.

“Uh uh. You want it, you need to pay for it.”

“Give me that and I won’t drag you by your entrails through the Presidium.”

“C'mon, Saren. You catch more flies with honey, isn’t that what the humans always say?”

“I don’t pay any attention to anything humans say, Nihlus.”

“Not true. You like their dying screams.”

Saren’s mandibles flickered.

“C'mon, Saren. It’s just a little thing, it’ll be over in a second.”

“I am not…” Saren glanced around them and lowered his voice. “I am not  _kissing you_ in the middle of Tayseri.”

“Guess you don’t want this, then.”

Saren’s mandibles twitched.

“C'mon. Just one kiss.”

“No.”

Nihlus put it back on the top shelf.

Saren grabbed him.

“C'mon.”

Saren leaned up and pressed his mouth to Nihlus’ own. Nihlus purred.

Saren’s neck was blue when he pulled back.

“Happy?“

“ _Very_.”


	4. Pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woe be unto any pizza joint foolish enough to offer an "all you can eat" promotion, Nihlus thought.
> 
> Saren, on the other hand, entered with coupon grimly in hand, his face set on a mission.

  
“Saren, you can’t be serious.”  
  
Saren looked up from his pizza, sauce still trailing down his mandibles.  
  
“Order another. I’m still hungry.”  
  
“Saren, you’ve eaten twenty-three dextro pizzas. For the price of _one_.”  
  
Saren’s eyes rolled. “It’s not my fault that these things are too small to satisfy a biotic’s appetite.”  
  
“Saren,  _nothing_  is enough to satisfy  _your_  appetite.”  
  
Saren’s eyes only glittered darkly at that, and Nihlus shivered.  
  
The human waitress timidly approached their table, standing at arm’s length as if Saren might want to eat her, too.   
  
“Would you like another….sirs?” She squeaked.  
  
“Two.” Saren replied.  
  
Nihlus groaned.


	5. Overdose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nihlus learns why you shouldn't give a biotic too much red sand.

“Nihlus! Come out to play!" he cooed into the darkness.

Nihlus tried hard not to laugh as Saren teetered toward him, high off of spirits knew how much red sand, a casualty of a canister Nihlus had … _somewhat_ accidentally hit; he had anticipated hitting it would amplify Saren’s powers and it had done that, but he had not foreseen that it would leave Saren downright giddy, running to him post-kill with an atypically large grin plastered across his face.

“Nihlus, Nihlus,” Saren grinned, reaching Nihlus and throwing his arms around him, purring genuinely, and – for Saren – almost sweetly; Nihlus almost tried to throw him off, not wanting to take advantage of Saren  -- he was clearly not in his right mind --  but he froze at Saren’s next words, simply uttered but no less devastating: _“Dragostea mea, comoară mea; Nihlus mea.”_

“C'mon Saren, you need to – we need to get you some help,” Nihlus shrugged an arm over Saren’s shaking shoulders, trying not to panic about Saren evident rejection of hierarchy standard in favor of his native tongue, and was rewarded for his efforts with a faceful of silver, as Saren’s mouthplates grazed his own and his fingers drifted lower, still muttering strange words in his heavy Elysian dialect.

“ _Maro mea_ ,” Saren crooned, rubbing his mouth against Nihlus’ cowl, giggling – giggling, spirits, _giggling_ – and murmuring, “I just want to play with the man I love, is that so wrong?”

“It’s..It’s not, and after we get a doctor to see you, Saren, I’ll play with you all you want, I promise,” Nihlus vowed and nuzzled Saren, trying to control how hard his chest ached when Saren purred happily in response, knowing that this was the only time he’d ever hear those words from the man he loved and never knowing, until this moment, how badly he would miss hearing it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the five-sentence challenge on Tumblr. Prompt was given by Ninalanfer.


	6. Ready for Action [M]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ihlus seduces Saren in the decontamination bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a solid M. Consider yourself warned.

Nihlus takes a deep breath as he follows Saren onto the ship. Saren is talking about something – their mission, most likely – but Nihlus doesn’t listen. Instead, he enjoys the scenery: Saren’s confident stride, his sharp eyes, his focused hands. 

Nihlus curls his hand against Saren’s, his heart beating fast and full of desire. The door of the decontamination chamber closes and Saren looks at him, surprised. Saren freezes, and he waits, patiently, for a sign, his talons simply laying on top of Saren’s. He isn’t going to force Saren into returning the gesture unless he wants to. 

But then Saren’s talon ghosts along his own, and Nihlus smiles. 

“Nihlus,” Saren says, his voice still hoarse from their goodbye session earlier. Neither of them had expected to be sent out on another mission together. Neither of them had expected their tender goodbye to be an opportunity for far more. 

“Saren,” he whispers, and lets his sub-vocals do the talking. 

Let it not be said that Nihlus Kryik does not make the most of every opportunity.

Saren snarls, turns, and grabs him in one neat motion, whipping him against the wall of the contamination unit. 

“So needy?” He spits out, leaning into Nihlus’ space. “You’ve already had me today.” 

Nihlus just smiles, mandibles flaring out as Saren growls. He’s used to how Saren acts, how he works. He knows that there’s no real malice in those eyes; he knows the gruffness is a facade. Intimidation is far easier for Saren to express than outright affection. 

Ding. The ship’s on board decontamination system beeps out a warning. Please remain still until the decontamination process is complete. He opens his mouth to suggest they obey so they can get to the good part already, the part with a nice warm cot, but Saren interrupts him before he can do much more than open his mouth. 

However, he can’t complain about Saren’s method of interruption – bending up and kissing him. His mandibles flare out in a pleased grin as Saren’s mouth-plates graze his own. 

“That’s a nice start to our vacation,” Nihlus purrs, curling his arms around Saren’s own.Saren doesn’t bother to correct him, his mouth-plates too busy grazing Nihlus’ chin, his mandibles, his neck. Monitoring the Perseus Veil doesn’t count as a vacation, but with Saren it’s the closest he’ll ever get to one. 

“Fuck, once just isn’t enough with you,” he whispers, tugging on Saren’s fringe cover and pulling it away from him. Saren doesn’t complain as it falls to the ground.

Ding. Please remain still until the decontamination process is complete.

“Shut up,” Saren grumbles, and he just smirks, rubbing Saren’s long fringe. Saren pushes up against him, impatient, and he grins, distracting Saren with a dazzling smile as his talons pull Saren’s jacket off. Saren tries to do the same for him but can’t, not with him trapped between Saren and the wall. He grins, all but daring Saren to change places with him as he unbuckles Saren’s pants. Saren growls, clearly disliking Nihlus grabbing control, but doesn’t bother to turn them around. 

He has a feeling Saren doesn’t want to get trapped.

Nihlus knows nothing scares Saren more than being at someone else’s mercy. He understands. Accepts it, even. But Nihlus likes it when Saren’s just a bit vulnerable, like now. Something about Saren, half undressed and available to touch, does it for him. He presses a sort of kiss to Saren’s mouth as his hands explore lower, lower. He pushes down Saren’s pants slowly, talons just skirting the border between skin and plates. Teasing. Saren’s arms seize his own for a moment, and he stops, waiting for permission to continue. 

Saren looks at him, expression, as usual, unreadable.

“Stop?” he asks. Saren doesn’t nod or shake his head. Can’t make it too easy, Nihlus supposes. Saren just leans into Nihlus’ side, in what would feel dangerously close to a hug if it came from anyone else. He pulls his hand away, unsure, but Saren grabs his hand, placing it back onto his skin. 

“No,” Saren grumbles, his other hand massaging Nihlus’ side through the fabric of his coat. He chuckles, pressing his mouth-plates into Saren’s cheek as he gently probes Saren's plates. He takes it slow, just one talon, lets Saren feel him skirt the edges of his arousal. It doesn’t take long; Saren’s more than ready, the gap between his plates obvious and wet. 

Saren looks away, keeps his eyes buried in Nihlus’ shoulder. Nihlus murmurs encouragement, and Saren shudders as his plates flex open. 

“Looks like somebody’s eager,” he chuckles, as Saren twitches in his arms. Saren says nothing, eyes just glancing up at him sharp and unamused. Nihlus smiles and takes a minute to admire the view. Saren, half naked and leaning into him, cock glistening in his hands. It’s a nice view. 

“Keep going,” Saren grumbles, impatient. Nihlus laughs.

“Very eager, it seems,” he drawls, pumping him hard. Saren’s hands ball into fists at his side. “Won’t even let me admire the view.”

Saren chuffs but says nothing. Nihlus grins; delighted to have finally got the old man at his own game. His mandibles hit Saren’s chin in a wide grin as he caresses his cock, warm and hard between his talons. Saren just sighs, his hips slowly rocking against Nihlus’ talons. 

“That’s not a denial, you know,” he says, flicking out a mandible towards Saren in a bright smile. 

“You started it,” Saren mumbles, content in burying his face in Nihlus’ cowl. Nihlus nuzzles him with his nose as he strokes him, one talon circling the head of Saren’s cock. Saren doesn’t whimper, but Nihlus doesn’t miss the way his hips move faster. Or he way his hands tug at Nihlus pants. Saren’s fingers are impatient, unlatching Nihlus’ pants and tugging them down as if the very garments offended him. 

“I’m good at starting things,” he whispers. Saren’s hand curls around the sensitive skin at the back of his neck and then his mouth is on him, warm and demanding. Nihlus moans as he melts into the wall. 

His heart pounds as Saren presses into him, arms pulled tight around his waist. Saren's pressing them hip to hip, keel to keel - the sensation overpowering and potent. His heart is pounding fast, so fast he can barely hear the same tempo in Saren’s own heart. 

They’re both eager, but Nihlus takes his time, savors exploring Saren’s skin. His hands fly out to stroke Saren’s long back, talons skipping across scars. Saren explores as well, but he's more interested in the splay of his waist, hands kneading the tender, unplated skin. Nihlus loses his sense of time, lost in the feel of skin on skin. He closes his eyes as Saren’s mouth nips at his neck, his shoulder. Saren’s urgency doesn’t go unnoticed. Countering, Nihlus tugs Saren’s head up to his own with his free hand.

Nihlus’ mandibles pull tight for a moment, uncomfortable in the intimacy. Technically, this is out of bounds. He expects Saren to pull away, but then he looks into Saren’s eyes, staring at him with an intensity that burns. Saren grasps for his cock, finally, but then the ship chimes sounds and they both look up, startled. 

Ding. Please remain still until the decontamination process is complete. He laughs for a moment when Saren startles, jumping under his fingers. 

He stops when Saren’s fist goes through the wall.

“What are you….?”

Saren snarls in response, talons scrapping for something. He freezes for a moment, unsure exactly what to do – even for Saren, this type of ship maintenance is highly unusual. He tries to move to the side, trying to see what Saren’s looking for, but Saren doesn’t give him enough space to move.

“Saren?”

Saren snaps something – with a quite audible crunch – and yanks his hand out of the wall. He grins predatorily as he waves some circuits under Nihlus’ nose. “Is that the ship's….?”

Saren nods. “I tired of its interruptions.” 

He throws his head back laughing, ignoring Saren’s confused tilt of his head. 

“Saren,” He says teasingly, “You bring a new meaning to the word eager.” Saren doesn’t laugh, just narrows his eyes as he drops the ship’s chime to the ground.

“No more interruptions.”

“Oh? I thought someone wasn’t into doing this at least twice – “

“Shut up Nihlus, and turn around.”

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to the title goes to [Velasa](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Velasa/pseuds/Velasa) for the title, as she held me down and forced me to realize just what a good Saren and Nihlus song it was.


End file.
